I'm back, kind of! I had the craziest end of year, then took a week off, and this new year has been packed with issues at work. I'll be back soon, hopefully later today!

The Wingman

So this week one of my best friends came to visit. Every time that we get together something has to happen. Just to make a quick account of the last 2 visits:
* Visited one of the nastiest strip clubs I've ever been! We used to go there with friends from college and it was really good. The last visit was scary as hell, the dancers were horrible and the other customers were scary looking, we payed $40 just to get in and we left in less than 5 minutes. Since I had to find something to delete the images that were stuck on my brain after that horrible place we decide to go to Scores. That's a no-brainer, you cannot go wrong there, gorgeous girls and great drinks, of course all of that has a high price. In less than 3 hours he was able to spend more than $500.
* After a night of party we end up on a high class whore house. The girls were unbelievable! really, perfect model like bodies. By the time we got there I was totally wasted, however not wasted enough to actually take the offer and pick a girl. Call me whatever you want, but I just cannot imagine the idea of paying for sex, even if it is with the most perfect girl ever. So while he was doing his thing with a damn expensive hooker, i was chatting and drinking with a group of them who was using all kind of tactics to take me in.

So, when he arrived in NYC last Friday I was a little worried. Because we both were so busy at work we didn't get a chance to see each other, that is until I got an IM that said "I need you on Wednesday". Here's a litte something about him: he's loaded but he has no game whatsoever! Not that he is bad looking, far from it, but he just doesn't have that IT factor with girls. Here's what happened, in one of his nightly runs he met this girl at a restaurant, she is the hostess of that place, and her birthday was on Wednesday. So he offer to take her out for her birthday, however, and I don't blame her she said that she had a friend that would like to go out with them; and here's were the hero of this story gets involved. My friend beg me to go out with them so he could hook up with the hostess. I used to be a kick ass wingman, I was the guy that would take the ugly girl away just so my friend had a chance with the hot one. But that was a long time ago.

I'm sure the Significant Other wouldn't appreciate if somebody told them that they saw me having dinner with a girl, I'm good when I play outside, so going out with 2 girls that I have never met was kind of risky. But hey, it is me and I wanted to spend some time with my friend anyway. So off we go, I said yes to a blind date that wasn't really a date. Since I was working and had the day from hell, I told them to pick me up at work and then we would go from here. They showed up around 7:30 and I was still working, so i brought them up to a conference room while I finished. Well, the girl that my friend liked was ok, beautiful body but her face wasn't that much, now her friend was beautiful, same great body, but her face was so much better! Which was good and bad, bad because I knew I could be interested.

From my building we walked to this fancy restaurant around Central Park (you cannot really say no to a walk in the city in the middle of December when it is this warm!). On the way there we passed Rockefeller Center which surprisingly wasn't that packed. The girls got their cameras and started to take pictures, I was clever enough to take the pictures but don't appear on them, the last thing I wanted was any evidence of that night! As I was seeing that there was nothing going on between my friend and his girl I told him to buy her one of those Santa hats, just for the fun of it, and it could be a cute thing. He wasn't sure, but i pushed him, and guess what? she loved it!

When we got to the restaurant I wasn't that happy. It was way too fancy! Don't get me wrong, fancy places are ok, but I wasn't in the mood for it. There's something about $70 small piece of meat that is just not right. However, i knew that was my friends game, awe them with a fancy place, which might work, but it cannot close the deal. After spending a ridiculous amount of money on some delicious but tiny meal accompanied by champagne we finished with some ok desserts. All dinner I was trying to get some conversation going, asking questions and making a fool of myself, but in a good way, not in a frat boy kind of way. They laugh all the time, and seemed more comfortable. When we were done with dinner we decided to go for drinks. There things got a little crazier since some tequila shots were involved. My friend once again didn't do much so I tried to keep on pushing the focus to him, working on him been the fun guy, but he just doesn't have it, period.

By the end of the night I had both girls on my lap (I was wearing Santa's hat), got close to kiss the hot one and was invited to go out the next Friday. Now my friend left the city and I have the chance to call this girl. hmm what to do? Honestly it is just fucking awesome to know that I still have it! Even though I would HATE do date again... all of you daters out there keep having a blast, just let me know if you need a wingman!

Dear Santa,

Please fix me a drink, NOW!. Yeah I know it is just 9am, but trust me with the couple of days I've been having I deserve a drink...I would also like a massage...and a long vacation somewhere warm where the drinks are served on coconuts and have little gay pink umbrellas...and some sex... and a free afternoon so i can finally decided what new car should I get... and that my boss will finally meet with me for more than the usual 3 minutes per week that we have, but just for this week.... and for the rest of winter to stay like this week (56 degrees people!!!).... and for the stock of my company to go up, A LOT... and for U2 to stop releasing greatest hits albums every damn year (seriously!)... and for my special friend to visit me at work this week (I NEED to see you!)... and for Banana Republic to reduce the price of that jacket that I fucking love but I cannot let myself sepnd $1600 on a piece of clothing

oh yeah and overflow my email with raunchy pictures of beautiful girls... and of course world peace!

What do YOU want for Christmas?

You will be disappointed, period.. but before we get to the details of the party, what the FUCK is going on with the weather? I'm sure some people or going to think I'm a whiny brat, but it was 19 degrees this morning, and my friends that is damn cold, specially since were been spoiled with 50 degree days for the past weeks! the worst part? it is also windy, so subtract a few degrees to those 19!

Now, about the parta-y! The day of the party I had the worst day ever, that rant a couple of posts earlier? multiply that by 10 and that would get close to the kind of day I was having... I didn't left work until after 8pm, so i was already tired as hell. We have a tradition with some good friends to have dinner before the Xmas party, of course I wasn't able to make it because I was stuck at work (you gotta love when you have to deal with people in California! those 3 hours difference basically means that i will continue to receive emails and calls up to 9pm). Anyhow, I finally made it to the party, and guess who is one of the first familiar faces I see? Girl #1 (the one I made out with last year)... nice as always, we hugged and she gave me a kiss on the cheek, and that is it! I didn't see her again for the rest of the night. Just to clarify, this party is damn huge! so there's a good chance that you are not going to find everybody you know, and if you start walking around probably you lost your group for the night (it is that big).

Again, the party was awesome, as always, got to see people that I haven't seen in a long time, people that I currently work that I like, and tons of hot girls (gotta love the entertainment industry!). After my 3rd drink, I was next to the bar fighting my way to get me another drink, when somebody hug me from behind. That was girl #2. I turned around and somebody got between us, so i just shook her hand, her response? "just a hand shake?". After the person between us moved, we hugged. We start talking (well, more like yelling because of the music), and somebody gave me a drink, basically I was pulled to another conversation because somebody wanted to introduce me to this big kahuna... then she was gone. I thought that was it for the night, the chances of seeing her again were very slim, so I was kind of relieved that there wasn't going to be any drama, and that I would make it home with no incidents.

Then, she showed up again. How? I have no idea! most of my friends were gone, so I was just making the last round to see if there was any other familiar faces around. By then I was already close to been drunk, so i wasn't really concerned about drama or anything. We sat down and start dancing (remember I have been working 12 hour days the whole week, so I was tired as hell). Then she started to get closer and do the whole slutty dance where she basically rubs everything on me... hmm alcohol took over and my hands started to move around her body, then I told her we had to go to the dance floor. We went down to the floor and did the same, but this time there was more contact. After a while of rubbing and touching the party was about to be over. No kissing! we got very close, a lot of teasing, our lips almost touching, but nothing. Then I just had to go home, i was so tired I was ready to pass out. i found out that she lived a block or so away from the place were the party was, so been the gentleman that I am, I offer to walk her home. Since it was damn cold already I even gave her my coat. While walking there it hit me, this is trouble. We got to her building door and I just hug her and took 2 steps down and told her that I had to go back. She went in, closed the door, and 30 seconds later, when I started to walk back, she opened the door again.

I just smiled, wave my hand and went back to the party, took a cab home and emailed her on my way home... she emailed me back this morning, I will be visiting her office later today.

I so needed to masturbate last night!

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Originally uploaded by el.cuervo76.

Do you remember those anti-drugs commercials "this is your brain, this is your brain on drugs'? Well this is the eye after a night of drinking and dancing after only 3 hours of sleep

Ok, now I'm really screwed. I am SO going to drink at the party that is not going to be any funny. It can go two ways: Either I'll get in trouble with girl #1 or #2 or I will kill somebody. Without giving too much information, this is what I do: I'm basically the link between my company and outside companies regarding the product that I handle. The outside companies are vendors and clients. There's a shitload of people that work in my company to make sure that the product is good, but at the end the responsibility of delivering that product falls into one group. I don't have any control over that group whatsoever, I'm not even part of that group, but because of my job I need to deal with them.

Well, after all the work of literally dozens of people, this last group delivered a product with errors. Obviously the clients let us know about it. Well, since I don't have access to that group I did what I always do, send an internal email asking for an explanation (key word: "internal").

That group bypassed me and contacted the client directly, not giving an answer, but asking them what was the problem, since they couldn't find anything wrong on their end. For their misfortune, I already knew what was the issue, but because I was on the subway i couldn't email them about it (eventually they have to allow some kind of blackberry signal in the subway people!!!). So, now the client thinks that we don't know what we are doing because this group wasn't able to detect such an obvious issue!

So, all the work of all these people, including my team, went to hell because somebody was cutting some corners. Fuck them! I know I'm anal at work, but because of that things run smoothly and people are happy (internally and externally), and now because of this single group we are back in square one.

Sorry for the rant, but I'm so fucking ready to kill somebody!!!!! I need to start keeping a bottle of vodka or something in my desk!

We'll get back to some inappropriate, highly sexual topic tomorrow.

Thank God is only once a year!

As I've said a million times I love my job. I found it entertaining, exciting and challenging. There's always something new or something old that needs to be fixed (or I'll fix it, even if it is working OK, because just OK is not good enough for me, there's always a better way!). The general mood of the company is very relaxed and it has great benefits. HOWEVER, like in the whole entertaining industry, the money situation is not ideal, at my level is not bad, but I could be making more somewhere else.

So, once a year, the company shows everybody how much we are appreciated by renting one of the coolest places in the city for a night of open bar, great DJ's, somehow good food and a lot of inappropriate behavior: The Christmas Party. On my first year I got so drunk that I only made it to work after 1pm the next day. I got better with time and I learned that I cannot have a drink with every single person that comes to me. When the alcohol is free, people feel the need to bring you drinks that you didn't request, which can end up with a nasty combination on your stomach: My typical vodka, plus a shot of tequila with X department, and a shot of scotch with Y area, etc. Once all that alcohol starts to kick in, then the inhibitions go away, you know what they say about Vegas? well, you can apply that to any Christmas party where there's an open bar.

There's this girl that I used to work with a long time ago. We always flirted but nothing happened, she new about my significant other. Every Christmas party we have a couple of shots. Two years ago we had our typical shot and then we kiss each other, a quick friendly kiss on the lips. End of the story. Moving forward to last year, same ritual, shot and a kiss... hmm last year I got a little more to drink than usual, so after the second shot I told her that we had to go dancing. The dancing floor was packed, so I took her to the middle, just melting with tons of other people, and we made out. You know one of those make out sessions that just drive you crazy? There was the attraction, the passion that we had for each other for so long but that we never followed, and the adrenaline rush because at any moment somebody that knew either one could've seen us.

I knew this was trouble, she knew this was trouble and we stopped on time. There was that moment when I knew I was going to end up on her bed if I stayed any longer. So after a few more drinks I left.

Then there's the hangover. I emailed her the next day, just asking her if she got home ok. No answer... a couple of weeks later I emailed her again, she responded, but it was very generic, nothing more than a quick hello and a "we should do lunch sometime" kind of thing. So I never push the subject and I haven't seen her since then.

Now, for the past month I've been receiving visits on my office from this girl. She has an office on this floor, but because of the location I rarely go that way. She's hot, killer rack and amazing ass. We joke and smile, and once when she visit me she moved behind my desk to check the view. I did nothing while she put her face on the window giving me an awesome view of that perfectly round ass. Here's the deal, she asked me if I was going to the party, and when I said yes, she said that we definitely need to have a drink, which is fine. But I know me, I know I cannot turn off my "flirt" mode and i know that alcohol can only facilitate things. The girl from last year doesn't work on my building, so that helped, but this girl works right on my floor. Besides girl #1, I only messed around with another employee was with an intern a few years ago (I have to tell that story one of these days). I honestly don't think it is a good idea to mess around with co-workers, but that party has all the elements to make me forget about that.

Maybe is nothing and this new girl just wants a drink, maybe girl #1 will break the shot annual ceremony, and maybe I will be home by 11pm totally sober.

or maybe not....